I Thought I Was a
Good Husband.
When Kate and I first got married, I thought I knew what it meant to show up. Provide. Protect. Be present. I was doing all of it. Or at least I thought I was.
I leaned into the things I could win at. Business. Fitness. Productivity. I was growing in every area of my life except the one that mattered most. Without realizing it, I was pulling away emotionally. Physically there. Not really there.
Over time, our marriage started to feel more like a partnership than a relationship. Everything looked fine on the outside. Until the day Kate said something I will never forget.
"I love you. But I'm not in love with you anymore."
I did what most people do. I tried to fix it by doing more. Talking more. Trying harder. But the more I pushed, the worse things got. I was solving the wrong problem with the wrong tools.
That's when I realized the truth: I had never actually learned how to do this. I had invested time, money, and energy into growing in business, fitness, and leadership. But never into the skills that actually build a marriage.
So I got serious. I invested in coaching. I trained in Relational Life Therapy under Terry Real. I studied emotional regulation, communication, and what it actually takes for two people to build something real together. Kate and I didn't just study it. We lived it.
Slowly, things shifted. Not just between us - inside me. I got more grounded, more honest, more present. The fights stopped lasting three days. The distance stopped feeling permanent. The walls came down.
What we built through that hard season became the foundation for everything I teach today.
Where it started.
