126. The Three Beliefs that are Guiding Your Life

This week, Eric Embarasses Kate. They Celebrate Eric's biz success and Dive into some shadow beliefs we ALL have.

Topics:

➡️ The Three central beliefs that are guiding your life
➡️ How our unconscious beliefs show up in our lives
➡️ Why accepting your darkness allows you to experience the BEST parts of life

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FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Eric MacDougall
Today, we're talking about a pretty big topic, if you will. This idea of these belief systems that are guiding your life. This idea that we're about to talk about is not my idea. This was taken by one of my mentors, Gary John Bishop. So if you guys haven't read Gary John Bishop, his body of work, it's amazing. He's this Scottish dude who writes about oh, my gosh, relationships have to listen to his audiobook. Yeah. And he does all his own audiobooks. And anyways, he's just amazing. So he talks about these three saboteurs right. And essentially, what we're going to share today is this idea of kind of like what he's talking about, whereas you have these three beliefs that are running in the background of your life. And at any point, when you find yourself kind of in a dark place, these beliefs kick in, in order to protect you, right. And these beliefs are created at a very young age, typically, oftentimes with a primary caretaker, right. So a parents may be or a grandparent or somebody that was in your life. And this belief, or one of these three beliefs was cemented in these moments when you were young, when you were an impressionable, and you were making your way in the world. Right. And so an example, an example of belief would be, you know, if your father was not available to you, and he was very aggressive, and he was very mean, you might grow up to think that, you know, men are always angry. Yeah, that could be a belief that you carry, right. And now, that's obviously not true. Every man is angry. But if you grew up around a lot of angry men, you start to solidify this belief, right? So this is an example of a belief that you create, based on your experience, and

Kate MacDougall
you'll often look for that truth in all aspects of your life. That's right. Yeah, my boss is a little bit and you know, he's got a little bit of a hard edge. She must be one of those mean men. That's right.

Eric MacDougall
Yeah, exactly. And when something happens, that goes against your belief, and you are an unguarded place, you're going to start to make excuses, right, that essentially continue to reaffirm your belief. Yeah, right. And so we're going to talk a little bit about that. Today, we're going to break it down, we're talking about our own personal beliefs, rather big three. But the big three beliefs that you have or is Gary John Bishop calls them saboteurs is, number one, the belief you have about yourself, the belief you have about others, right? And then the belief you have about life. So those are the big three. So all of us, every single person has these beliefs, right? And we go through them. So let's start with the first one, which is the belief we have about ourselves. Right? And so you, Kate, have a belief about you. Yeah, and me, Eric, I believe me and every person who's listening right now has a deep down belief to dark belief that they often don't like to share with people. It's a very vulnerable belief that they have of themselves. It's a view they have for themselves. That keeps them protected. Yes. Yeah. So do you have yours?

Kate MacDougall
Yeah. Oh, I know my Oh, wow. Okay, peasy lemon squeezy already. Okay, I personally believe that I'm a burden on others, okay. to others. For others. It's like I'm a burden, I am a burden. My belief is I Kate Emma burden,

Eric MacDougall
right? And that plays out in different relationships and the way that you navigate life.

Kate MacDougall
Yes, exactly. So I would be the kind of person who won't reach out to people too much. I wait for people to reach out to me, because if I reach out to them too much, then they might think that I'm like, too much like I might I'm taking too much of their time. And that I'm, I'm probably bothering them.

Eric MacDougall
You don't ask for a lot of things.

Kate MacDougall
I don't ask for anything. It's very hard for me to open up to people let them know how I'm feeling. So even though I'm having a really bad day, and someone's like, how's it going? I will never tell them that it's not going well, because then that would burden them with Oh, my sadness, yeah, with my needs with my, you know, bad day, and then they would probably become, you know, started having a bad day too, because of me. So that's Yeah, so it's honestly, having that belief about myself, believing that I'm a burden has stopped me from taking a lot of risks, especially socially, and my life and has, you know, made me isolate a lot. I'm a person who spends a lot of time on my own. I have some very good friends, very good husband. They're very good at being like a hare, you're isolating again, you're not a burden, get out of your shell come out, like we're waiting for you. So yeah, that's, that's been very helpful to me to have those people in my life that remind me that I don't bother with them, and that it's okay for me to have feelings and wants, and you know, that I can actually talk to them without them feeling like I'm a burden.

Eric MacDougall
Yeah. And I think it's really hard to understand that. Like, oftentimes, this is running in the background, right? This is an unconscious belief for most of us. Oh, yeah.

Kate MacDougall
I don't wake up tomorrow morning. And I'm like, Oh, I'm a burden today. Like, no, I don't wake up that way. But my friends will be like, Hey, where are you been? I haven't heard from you in a while. And um, and then that's like, Oh, I haven't been talking to them. Because I haven't, like all week, I think about oh, I should I should text my friend. Oh, I should send her a message. Oh, I should. probably busy. Yeah, I'll like be upstairs. And I'm like, Oh, I miss Eric. I want to go downstairs and see him. And then like, that'll probably bog them. So nevermind. And so I don't do it. And it stops me from doing a lot.

Eric MacDougall
Yeah. And I even see it in a sense that, you know, when I offered to do things, or people offered to do things for you, it's very like, nonchalant, no, no, no, no, no, don't do that.

Kate MacDougall
And it bleeds into my life, such as, when I asked my mom, for example, to take care of the kids. My mom loves spending times with time with her grandkids, same as yours. Like when when our parents take care of our kids, they love spending time with them. But I will never ask them. And it's really hard for me to be like, Hey, can you take them for an overnight? Like, once every few months? Like not often? And it's very hard for me because I have this belief that my kids are burden, right?

Eric MacDougall
You're projecting that belief? Right? Yes. That's like bleeding

Kate MacDougall
into my life. Like, I don't like PDA because I believe that. Me and you kissing will burden somebody make them sad, because they'll see a happy relationship and be like, Well, I don't have wow, like it bleeds all over.

Eric MacDougall
Yeah, I'm glad you're bringing a lot of that up. And again, like, I really want to say that like, you don't always think this, oftentimes you challenge yourself to, you know, ask for help to put yourself out there. But when you get back to kind of base level, this is part of the belief that's kind of guiding your life. So when you're not actively thinking about asking for help, and you're not actively, you're kind

Kate MacDougall
of on I'm on autopilot, right? I'm just living my life and things are just flowing and going all that will be my first reflex reflex is just like, Hey, can I help you with that? I'm like, No, it's okay. I'm not like because I'm a burden. It's just like, No, I'm

Eric MacDougall
okay. I'm good. I got it. Yeah. And again, these beliefs are protecting us. Right? And are there the ego is putting these beliefs there to protect us? Maybe this happened a very young age where you're like, hey, if I don't ask for a lot of stuff, and I'm not annoying to people, typically people give me what I want. Right? And they love me in the way that I want to be loved. Yeah, but when I asked for too many things, I'm being told to go away and be quiet. Yeah, right. And so really, really important. Understand that these beliefs They're there because in a way they protect us. Yeah. But they protect us from being rejected. They protect us from losing the love that we hope we get or losing secret connection, etc. Do you know what mine is?

Kate MacDougall
Oh, I think so. I just don't want to say this. Not that. I'll say. I promise I won't change it. Okay to down.

Eric MacDougall
Okay, mine is I'm stupid.

Kate MacDougall
Oh, wow. No, that's yeah.

Eric MacDougall
Oh, okay. Okay. Mine's like, yeah, like this, this whole idea about like, being an educated not knowing a lot. Yeah, just being dumb, like, and so that is like, an unconscious belief that I carry that plays out in different aspects of my life. Yeah. Right. And so I don't often have conversations that I'm not knowledgeable about, right. Usually, if there's somebody talking or two people are talking about a certain thing that I'm not knowledgeable about, I won't engage. Yeah, because it's like, it's better not to engage and to open up and be seen as a dum dum. Right. And whatever. Yeah. And or oftentimes, you know, when people are, you know, praising my success and praising how great things are, I always kind of throw that in there, right of like, Oh, I'm just like a country boy, you know, from don't really know much. I mean, and so I'm constantly reaffirming this unconscious belief that I'm stupid, right? Or I'm a dumb, dumb, man educated, whatever you want to call it.

Kate MacDougall
Yeah. And I find that too. Now you're sometimes you you'll often come up to me and you're like, I'm going to take a course in this. And I'm going to take a course and that and I'm like, Eric, for what? Like, what is it gonna give you more of and you're like, I don't know what I'm like, Well, I don't think you need any more horses right now. You've just done 10 Like, but you're like overcompensating now. Like, you're like, I really can't be done. Like, this is like, I really I'm gonna learn all these new things. Like it's like, no, no, you're good.

Eric MacDougall
Yeah, yeah. And even a sense of like, when we're in a conversation, and people get interested, what type of work I do, are we getting this deep conversation? I'm like, Oh, this is my jam. Yes, we're XL. Yeah. And so let's jump down. Yeah, exactly. Because I'm like, Hey, here's an opportunity to reaffirm that I'm not done right here. Yeah, exactly. So it's constantly kind of playing itself in the background. And, again, we all have these, right. And again, we're throwing them out there. We're being vulnerable with our listeners. But understand that, you know, this is kind of your belief inside. It's probably part of the shadow self, right. So the ego is trying to protect it a lot. But that that belief is there. And in a lot of ways, it's guiding your life, I'm unlovable, I'm not smart enough, I'm ugly. I'm stupid, like whatever it is. It's that deep, dark belief that you keep in the background. Right. And so that is the belief that you have about the self. Yeah. The second one is about others. Yes. Right. So what we're talking about here is how you view other people in the world. Right? So the first one is about you. The next one is a belief about every person you engage with, right? And so we're talking about, not like, oh, this specific person and this specific person we're talking about, like the way you view that general population of humans. Yes. Right. You have a belief about other humans. Yeah. Right. What's yours?

Kate MacDougall
Um, I'm, like, torn between unsafe and untrustworthy. I think it's kind of like they go kind of hand in hand. So I think, really, it's untrustworthy, which makes me think they're unsafe, right, but it comes down to trust. I don't believe that I can trust humans. You don't think they're like authentic? No, yeah. When someone's like, I love what you're wearing. I'm like, Yeah, right. You probably you're gonna turn around and go tell everybody that I got a big butt in it.

Eric MacDougall
Right? Yeah. Yeah. Like when people say is not always what they mean. Yeah. Hiding.

Kate MacDougall
Yeah. Or, like, you know, Oh, I haven't seen you around for a while, like, oh, yeah, I've just been busy. It's like, no, no, you've been avoiding me. Like, that's, that's what goes on in my head. When people answer things. I'm always like, you're probably saying that, but you're probably meaning this instead. I'll never say it out loud. It's something I think of personally like inside. But yeah, and but to like, bleeds into my life. Like when, when in our relationship, sometimes you'll tell me things like, You're so beautiful. You're amazing. You're great. Bah, blah, and I'm just like, Whack, whack. Whack.

Eric MacDougall
Yeah. Yeah. Like,

Kate MacDougall
come to me. And I'm like, sure, sure. Whatever. Yeah, just saying that. And I don't take them in. I don't sit there and say like, I am beautiful. I am intelligent. I am crazy. Like, thank you for those compliments. I'm going to take them and I'm going to hold them near to my heart and believe them. I'm like, okay, okay. Okay. smacking them away like the mosquitoes like, so I don't, I don't accept. When people say things about me as the truth. I don't. Yeah, it's

Eric MacDougall
like what they're saying. Because as I'm thinking about it in real life, I imagine a lot of your thoughts are like, either the, what they're saying is not true. Like they're withholding information or they want Something Yeah. Or if they are saying something that's true, you're justifying a reason. Like, oh, they want something out of me or they're trying to create a situation where they get something, but like they have a motivation. Yeah. beyond just being nice. Yeah. Right, because everyone has a motive and everyone, so you can't really trust

Kate MacDougall
what people are saying. Exactly. So that's yeah, that's mine on trust,

Eric MacDougall
you want to go down this road? My mind is, mine is, people don't give a shit about anybody about themselves. That's like, like, people don't give a shout. Yeah, like, nobody gives a fuck about anybody else. Like, that's, that's true. Yeah. I think people have deep love for others. But I do find that like, whatever percent of the population. But it's like, you know, obviously, like, we love our kids we love but like, oftentimes, when I view people in the world, and I see people do things that I'm kind of like, wow, like, that's crazy. Did that I revert back to? Oh, well, obviously, that they don't give a fuck about anybody but themselves. Yeah, like, those are everybody in their life under a bus to, you know what I mean? And that really had was stemmed from like, you know, me protecting myself at a very young age and finding my own, like individualism, right? Because by saying that nobody cared about anybody themselves, what that allowed me to do was to only care about myself, and to never trust anyone, right. And so it allowed me to always have a guard up to say, Oh, I can't really trust anybody, everybody's out there for themselves. And so there's a limit to what they're willing to give you share with you, etc. Right. And so that that's something that I created a young age and, and still oftentimes, in my dark moments, like, carry with me, right. And again, these are beliefs that will probably always be with me, right? And so I see a lot of people love each other. Sometimes I sit and I just I'm, like, overwhelmed by the amount of love and service that I see not only in the group, but in the world. But whenever I'm find myself struggling, or I see something like that's like, oh, man, that's kind of shitty. It always comes back to like, Oh, that makes perfect sense. Yeah, of course, nobody gets nobody cares about themselves.

Kate MacDougall
Yeah, for sure. Yeah. And I see it, like when we're, you know, an argument or, you know, things are heated between me and you. You'll often say that, like, Oh, I really wish anybody under the bus. And I'm like, What? No, like, right? Yeah. Holy not, I would not push anybody under the bus. But you think that that's something that I would do? Well, I don't

Eric MacDougall
think so many of you do. I think something that that's ever Yeah. Right. And in this moment, yeah. It's just like, it's coming to me. Yeah. And so that's kind of like the dark part that I think, is there in every human. So when I'm like, in conflict with you, I'm like, Oh, the story that I think about every human being makes sense. Kate is a human being of therefore, gonna do this, right? Probably in the same way that when we're in conflict, you don't believe that what I'm saying is true or real? Because you're kind of throwing me in the general population

Kate MacDougall
is a threat. Yeah, right. Exactly. So it does have huge impacts on our relationship. So not only do I think I'm a burden, but I also think you're untrustworthy. So even if you tell me I'm not a burden, I'm like, okie dokie. Yeah.

Eric MacDougall
It's true, vicious circle. Yeah,

Kate MacDougall
absolutely. Wait till you hear what I think about.

Eric MacDougall
So the third one, and again, we really the reason we're being a little playful here is because we've understand, you know, bringing awareness around these beliefs, and understanding how much they guide your life unconsciously allows you to engage with them and interact with them, right. And so sometimes I'll see people or get in a relationship, and somebody will do something. And I'm like, Oh, I gotta make sense. They only give a shit about anybody to put themselves. And then I'm like, Well, wait a minute. No, Eric, like, that's just, you're just painting everything in the same color. Like when you just chill out, once you get to know this person, and maybe try to understand where they're at right now. Because this is a good person, right? I think everybody's trying to do their best. Yeah. And so the view or belief that you have of the world, in the way that people interact is not true in this specific scenario. Right? So let's go further than that. And so when you create awareness around these beliefs, you can start to understand how they're guiding you. And you can essentially engage with them and preventing them from taking over. Right. And so the third one is your belief about life. Right? And so, a lot of people have very common beliefs about life that are, you know, life is hard. Life is unfair, right? Like this is the, the beliefs that we have, maybe you grew up in a home where it's like, all life is hard, you know, so to work for everything you need. Exactly. It's never going to be nothing will ever be given to you and blah, blah, blah, what you create with, you know, based on the household you grew up in, or based on your caretakers and what they instilled in you, is a belief like this. Life is hard life is unfair, right? If your caretaker was constantly saying how they worked their butt off, and they never gotten anything and Jobo down the street has everything and hardly works. Well, that's not fair. Right? And then so you start to think about, ooh, I guess life is just not fair. And so now your idea and how you show up and interact in life is based off this unconscious belief, whether it's hard or unfair, etc. Yeah, yeah. What's yours? Well,

Kate MacDougall
I don't really have a word for it other than dangerous, but I don't mean it in that way. So maybe you can help me find a word for it is like, okay, yeah, it's not dangerous as in like, I think I'm gonna walk outside and something dangerous is gonna happen. It's more of like, okay, life is unpredictable. That's the word. Unpredictable.

Eric MacDougall
Yeah. And it's like, kind of like, not an exciting way, like God, not

Kate MacDougall
an unpredictable, like, whoo, I wonder what's gonna happen today. It's like, Oh, I wonder what's gonna happen today. Right? It's like, I you can never, you know, the expression that's like, you know, human makes plan, God laughs at the plan or whatever, something like that. Like, that's what guides my life, because I'm like, I could make all the plans in the world. And like, there's no way there's no way that I'm gonna wake up and all of those things are gonna happen. Like, I can't trust, it's all about trust, right? I can't trust that. My day is going to go the way I want it to go. I can't trust that, like, I have some sort of power over my life, I have, I have this huge belief that life has power over me. And that it doesn't matter what I tried to do, or how I tried to control it. it in the end will control me. Right? So because of that I've kind of given up trying to control life. And just like, like, let life control me

Eric MacDougall
like, do you think life is controlling you? Or do you think life just doesn't follow your rules?

Kate MacDougall
Hmm, that's a good control question. Like

Eric MacDougall
so do you think you're like a victim of your life? Or do you think it's just like your life doesn't really go by your plans?

Kate MacDougall
I'm not sure. Okay. I don't know. Yeah. But it's like say, say we're planning on going to Disney next summer. Right? That's like a huge thing. We've been talking about it. Like, I need to put a downpayment down and I'm like, There's no way like, I'm going to put this downpayment down like this, we're probably wasting money, like, okay, like, there's, something's going to happen, and we're not going to be able to in a year from now, like, actually do this, you know,

Eric MacDougall
cuz I was gonna say that, based on what you're saying, but this idea of life being unpredictable, it makes sense that you are very risk averse, yes. And, and prioritize, like things you can control in your life. And I

Kate MacDougall
prioritize comfort. Yeah, a lot in my life. So when when people around me are rocking the boat, or when I see that things are getting a little heated? I'm like, Hmm, I don't know how this is gonna go. So I'm just going to freeze. Yeah. Or flight. Like

Eric MacDougall
find your predictability in some your own home or your own life.

Kate MacDougall
Yeah. So I would rather just like avoid situations, stay where I know I'm going to be safe. If you're like, hey, let's try something new. I'm like, No, thank you. I'm alright with what I know. Because I'm not sure how this is gonna go. And unless I can guarantee that it's going to be perfect. And absolutely wonderful. I don't want it. Right. So

Eric MacDougall
because life is too unpredictable.

Kate MacDougall
I can't I don't want to take the risks. Oh, yeah. This was good. Are you surprised?

Eric MacDougall
No, not really.

Kate MacDougall
I'm happy. I found the word because it's not dangerous. I was like, what's the word? I'm predictable is good one. Yeah. So life is unpredictable. And, and yeah, it that just it keeps me in this like, frozen mode sometimes. Yeah. Like, you don't hear mine. Yeah, I think I know what it is. We go,

Eric MacDougall
Okay. What do you think? No. Okay. Okay. Because it's funny. Like, I was talking to my sister about this a couple weeks ago. And she heard me say this, I think, I don't know, the podcast. And she was quite sad about it. And this whole belief I have about life is actually very helpful to me. Oh, and that because she was like, oh, man, how does it feel like live life that way all the time. And I was like, actually, kind of feels great because you never like expect anything and you're kind of like at baseline all the time. So when Joy happens, it's like really awesome. Because like, wow, this is I didn't expect this. But then like when things don't go well, you're gonna like oh, this makes sense.

Kate MacDougall
What is it? Life sucks. Oh, my God. All I thought you were gonna say

Eric MacDougall
Yeah, so for me, that's like a big one. That's like the baseline. Life sucks. Yeah. And

Kate MacDougall
wow, you're such a glass empty person.

Eric MacDougall
So this is this is the conversation. I have my sister about it. It's, I'm not. But by saying life sucks. It protects me from pain. And so that's that's the belief navigating my life. Right. So when when bad things happen, I always revert back to it. Make sense this happened life sucks, right? But that doesn't mean that I'm looking at my life all time. Life sucks. LifeLock This sucks. Yeah. Well, what it does allow me to do you know, this is kind of when I was sitting there and my sister, because I was talking about like, how beautiful this will how grateful I was for this in this moment. And I was really talking about like taking in this moment that we're setting together. Oh, I'm so glad you're saying that. Because I heard you a couple weeks ago on a podcast saying like life sucks.

Kate MacDougall
or poor family listening? Yeah.

Eric MacDougall
So that's kind of what I was explaining. It's like, Yeah, but because I have this idea. When life doesn't suck, I'm really able to take it in. Right, I'm really able to like, wow, it's not sucking. It's like, wow, like, this is awesome.

Kate MacDougall
It's probably the feeling I get when like, for example, we're putting the downpayment on I'm getting better at taking risks and being like, Okay, so we're gonna put the downpayment and we're gonna pay for Disney, we're gonna go to Disney, and then I'm gonna be like, Oh, my gosh,

Eric MacDougall
when it happens, like everything went according to plan, it actually happened.

Kate MacDougall
And it was actually wonderful. But then if it wasn't, I'm gonna be like, I knew it. I knew it makes sense.

Eric MacDougall
Yeah. So you protect yourself, right? In a sense. And so and I, you know, for me, personally, I believe life is kind of 5050, right? 50% of great 50% shitty. And the reason that I say life sucks often, and the guys they laugh in the group, I said, I'll tell you, Oh, you know, life sucks. And, and it's not to say like that life is shitty all the time. It's not to put it down spin on it. But I do believe that, that a lot of the media out there is all the way on one side of the equation, or all the way on the other, which is, here's all the crappy shit that's happening in the world, which is, you know, not great to listen to. And it's not fun. But then the other side is like, here's all the amazing sunshine and rainbows in the world. And it's like, but that's also not true all the time. Yeah. And so like, let's kind of find our way in the middle and say, like, yeah, life sucks. And there's beauty to it. And it's both, right. And so that that is one of my beliefs, not only growing up that I learned that because I, you know, probably got my teeth knocked out a few too many times. But it really does protect me from like, when things that aren't nice happened to me, and I'm like, or people love me, oh, well, you know, life sucks, you know? And so that that whole idea of like, life sucks, then you die. That's like my dark belief.

Kate MacDougall
Because it is sad to hear you say that. But I see where you're coming from, like, I get it, I get it. But I think it does a could have some negative impacts on your life. Like, like, for example, when our relationship hits kind of like a law or kind of like, when we're in kind of a, what is the word I'm looking for, like a dead season where we're kind of like knee? Not, we're not really feeling it right now. Like, that belief probably keeps you stuck, instead of pushing pushes, it doesn't push you to get out of that, you know, rocky season we're in.

Eric MacDougall
So it's funny. So I agree. Okay. And what I've realized over time, is that my ability to manage those seasons is actually really good. Because just from what I've learned, if every time something that was like a law or Limbo happened, and I started, like, needs to be changed needs to be better things need to change, we can't have limbo, that would cause a lot of discomfort for not only me, but the people around me. Like, could you imagine needing life to be 100% amazing all the time. This is where I see people have problems. It's like, you know, I see people like, everything's good. Everything's going well. And people are like, Oh, my God, like, how do I make it better? How I need to, like, prevent the bad stuff from happening. And I'm like, Hey, dude, like, bad stuffs gonna happen?

Kate MacDougall
Yeah. Or if a small small thing goes wrong. They're so freaking stated. Yeah. And you're like, Oh, it's fine. It's not that bad. Like, your child has a cold.

Eric MacDougall
Yeah. And so and I get what you mean. Like, I think when people hear me say that, like, Oh, it's so depressing. And it's like, well, it's not for me, because what it does is allows me to accept when somebody's like, oh, man, this horrible thing happened. I'm like, Yeah, well, we're a dangerous place. You know what I mean? Like, it kind of sucks. And it's like,

Kate MacDougall
but I think I think there's some people that might have life sucks mentality. That's not like yours. They might like, be like, life sucks, and then hide in a hole. They're like, I'm a victim of life, right? Which is more of like, you think life sucks, and I'm getting engaged with it, and I'm gonna engage with it. I'm going to accept it. Those moments, those sucky moments, I will accept them. But I will also understand that there are some good moments. Generally, life's life sucks. But I think some people I think that's who people like. That's why people are sad when they hear you say, because they're probably thinking of that one person who's like, life sucks, and I'm gonna hide in a hole and nobody can get me out of it. Because there's no good thing about life. What's the point?

Eric MacDougall
Yeah, yeah, that's definitely not me. I mean, a lot of people maybe but and I feel really, you know, I feel for those people who are kind of stuck in those holes and I I was talking about for a while, right have like depressive tendencies and over drinking and stuff like that. But one of the things that I think about is it does allow me to manage hard situations. And, like, not need to, like fix everything, you know, like, and we talked about this a lot like in the mastermind with the guys but like this idea of like are engaging with the shadow. Right? But like, if you fear, quote, unquote, like uncomfortable things or negative things, like, I don't know that that's a healthy life. No, right. So if somebody's like, oh, work socks, and then somebody, oh my god, what are you mean? Like you should quit your job like,

Kate MacDougall
positivity, right? It's like not healthy. It's okay.

Eric MacDougall
Today, my work sucked. So I'll just say like, I love my life. But those moments when I find myself in the darkness, typically I revert back to that idea of life sucks.